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Modern society has a strange fascination with calling out anyone who ‘takes an L’. Especially online. The stigma attached to taking a loss is toxic and is holding everyone back from taking chances and putting themselves out there out of fear of being ridiculed.

Crabs in a bucket

I rant about this in the video above, but I think most of it comes down to the ‘crabs in a bucket’ effect. Crabs can easily escape a bucket but the second one climbs towards the top he’s pulled back by those underneath him. If they’re stuck in the bucket then so is he.

Society conditions us to believe we need good grades, a good job, a nice house, car, and TV. Anything outside this norm is unrealistic and unacceptable. If someone has accepted this as their fate, they will cut down anyone they see trying to do anything different. “How dare this person try this, who do they think they are?” They celebrate other people’s failures because it means they’re now on the same level. It makes people feel better.

“But if you put it on the internet..”

This is the dumbest argument I’ve ever heard. “If you put something on the internet you need to be prepared to accept my criticism – I have a right to an opinion.” You also have the right to not be a dick. Do you approach people in the street and tell them you hate their outfit? No, because that would make you a dick. “But if you walk down the street you need to be prepared to..” Dumb.

If you insist on leaving negative comments on something someone has put effort into, you’re a dick. And if someone leaves negative comments on your work, they’re a dick so don’t worry about their opinion.

You need to fail

I digress. It’s almost impossible to improve, achieve, or succeed without failing along the way. I’ll let the G.O.A.T explain:

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

The best thing that ever happened to me

How many times have you heard people describe a negative event as the best thing that ever happened to them? What feels like the end of the world in the moment often shapes who you become and teaches valuable lessons about how to handle yourself in the future. Anyone making fun of your failures clearly has no idea and probably won’t achieve much themselves.

I’ve had plenty of things happen to me that sucked at the time but ultimately ended up being great for me. Check out the video where I go into more detail.

Fear of judgement

I think we fear people judging our failures more than we fear failure itself. If you’re able to reframe the way you look at failing you will realise that anyone judging you isn’t really someone worth your time or energy, so why give it to them?

Life is short, just do it.